If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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