Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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