I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
