Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
