I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
