hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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So many bounce houses so little time
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
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just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.