nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.