So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
