areolas are like halos for boobs.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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