That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize