Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
