we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
