i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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