i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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