I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Randomize
