if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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