i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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