its not stalking. its research.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
