thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize