laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Couch. On fire.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
