Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i now understand why vodka
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
