yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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