I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He better not be in your backpack
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
