if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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