Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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