Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
