I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
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I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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