for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
