I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
