I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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