I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
