the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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