why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's never too late to be topless.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize