Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
