haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
