It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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