I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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