is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
