you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
