Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.