talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.