I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.