you suck at this game today
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence