I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.