Having a random hookup so left but love u
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
babies were throwing up all over the place
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
