he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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