Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
