Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
