She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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