Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
