You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
