in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize