90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
