Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
