there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
