I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize