i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
