If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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