I wish i was in the wii world.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
