Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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