I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
