i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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