even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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