Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
