I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
