He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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