"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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