Your tits are I can't wait for
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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