with your own penis?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
