areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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