There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
