i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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