I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
