I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Randomize
